I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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