Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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