It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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