I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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