1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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