oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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