Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
