I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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