Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
