no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
please come you make the beer taste better
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
