She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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