Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
