you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
