he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
