There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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