All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
