Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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