does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
