Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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