I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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