Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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