Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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