So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize