I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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