This girl is more easily done than said...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
