two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
