my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
