dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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