did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
