If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
