So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
