She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize