Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
