come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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