we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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