note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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