I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
