No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
