I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What a dumb baby whore.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
