Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
