i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
