Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
