phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
