That's intense
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
