I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You took a bar mat shot.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize