69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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