And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
