can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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