I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
