I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
