First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
