i don't like sucking hair
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
