I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
