Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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