If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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