I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
