My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
