He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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