Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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