Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
