what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize