Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
someone threw a dead crab at me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
