shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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