take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
