I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
