apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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