she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This baby is an asshole
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
