So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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